Do you resent women? Most men would respond of course not. They say no but chances are good that on some level they do resent women but just aren’t aware of it.
Quite often bitterness for women goes on unconsciously, just below the surface. This is common even with men who are trying to get good with women. There are several reasons why this resentment exists:
1. Women can easily get sex
To some men sex is the end all be all of life. If they can’t sleep with women they feel inadequate in many ways. They feel extremely frustrated with life and with themselves from their lack of sex.
Unfortunately this frustration is often taken out on women. Their contempt for women stems from their anger at how easily women can get sex. It’s a basic jealousy issue.
They will call women sluts or whores but the truth is they wish that they could get laid as easily as women do.
Their frustration is similar to how many poor people react to someone with money. They assume that the person is greedy or evil but really they are just frustrated by their own lack of success.
2. Women are able to get men to do whatever they want
When you feel completely powerless over your life the human thing to do is try to control others. When you can control and hold power over someone else you get a false sense of control over your own life.
Most beautiful women can control men with ease. They use their magical powers to get men to do whatever they want them to.
They will see women getting men to bend over backwards for them and they crave that. They thirst for the power women posses in order to feel powerful themselves.
Deeper than this is a desire to be loved. Controlling and powerless people have the crazy idea that the more a person does for them the more a person loves them.
Since most men are unsuccessful in attracting women, let alone getting them to do what they want, resentment builds. They despise these women but in reality they wish they could be in the same position as them.
3. The old Madonna/ Whore issues
The Madonna/whore complex is basically seeing women in two different lights.
The Madonna is the sweet, loving, innocent virgin who is pure. She is the girl you take home to meet your parents.
The whore is a girl you do all the dirty things to that you wouldn’t do to the Madonna. The one you sleep with and never call. The one you use for all of your sexual fantasies.
Having these polar opposite views of women creates a lot of conflict. On the one hand you want a girl to be sexually wild (the whore) but on the other hand you want a sweet and loving girl who you can be proud of (the Madonna).
No matter what category you lump a woman into you just can’t win.
If you treat her like a whore you will have no respect for her and silently judge her. You will feel let down because she isn’t more like the Madonna.
If you treat her like the Madonna you will also be let down. Most pure women aren’t that great in bed. You will feel disappointed because she isn’t more sexually adventurous. If she does attempt to be more sexually open you will judge her for being a whore.
The key is resolve this issue within yourself. Accept that women enjoy sex as much as men do.
4. Giving your power away to women time and time again
There is not a man that I have met that hasn’t given his power away to women. Giving your power away includes:
» Allowing them to disrespect you
» Lying to you
» Not setting and enforcing proper boundaries
» Dropping whatever you are doing to submit to their needs
» Being manipulated and not doing anything about it
Every time that you give your power away to a woman or anyone for that matter you feel weaker inside. Continue this pattern and eventually you will feel completely helpless.
At that point you have two choices: do something about it or allow it to continue.
If you let this situation to continue you will begin to feel resentment towards that person. You will begin to even hate them on some level for what they are doing to you.
Here at Inner Game Reframe we like to take full response-ability for our lives. You might think that they are doing it to you but in reality you are responsible for what is happening.
You might feel contempt for that person but really you are just mad at yourself for putting up with it. You are angry for all the times you could have stood up for yourself but DIDN’T.
Resolving These Issues
The key to solving any problem is awareness. You can’t fix something that you don’t believe it is broken.
Take time and think about times when you have felt resentment, contempt or even hatred for women. Take responsibility for the part you played and learn what you can.
After you have learned all the lessons from these situations forgive yourself. Accept what has happened or is happening and let it go.
You are doing yourself and women a great disservice by holding onto this resentment. Resolve the issues inside of yourself and give the gift that is you.